My Inner Struggle

I'm new to the world of blogging. I’d considered it for some time now, but each time the possible ramifications raced through my mind. Would there be people who disagreed with me? Sure. Would my thoughts enrage people? That’s not my intention; I simply aim to share a different view on issues that affect us all. Would I be declined an interview for my dream job because a potential employer Googled me and did not like my views? Perhaps. But, hey, at least they know what they’re getting into.

However, the biggest challenge I had to overcome was my own mental barrier. I simply felt as though I was in no position to be commenting on the issues I had strong opinions about. I knew that the Constitution of the United States gave me the right to have and voice an opinion, but I didn’t know if voicing it would make any difference at all. I still don’t know. I also have always believed that unless I have personally experienced something, I cannot pretend to have been in anyone else’s shoes. Who am I to say that I feel your pain? But I finally realized that if I could even slightly impact the thinking of one person, and make that person consider things in a different light, then my mission would be fulfilled.

It is this challenge within myself that has led me to write my first post on the topic of ego. Regardless of race or ethnicity, religion or political party, everyone can relate to the concept, and impact, of ego. Ego drives some people to make ignorant remarks, while others shy away from taking life-changing opportunities for fear of hurting their egos.

I have always wondered whether it is worth it to have an ego. At times I have even found it necessary to have one. Is it possible to be a brilliant public speaker and yet never feel that your opinion is worth listening to? If you preach something, religious or not, don’t you feel as though you are enlightening people, and hence you know or feel something they don’t? On the flip side, if you don’t have an ego at all, would the world miss out on something great because you didn’t feel that you deserved to rise above your struggles and speak out for what you believe?

Of course, all of this assumes that humans can control their egos. I’m not sure this is really true, but I think we do have some control over the direction our egos take. It’s logical: if you think very highly of yourself, your ego should respond accordingly and inflate. But then again, no matter how highly you think of yourself, a public disgrace or private catastrophe can quickly lay the biggest egos in ruins.

Radio talk show hosts and late-night comedians have been freely expressing their views on the Democratic presidential race. Larry King has political free-for-alls on CNN. What gives any of these people the right to say what they say? More importantly, what are their sources? Is it their first-hand experiences of differences in race and religion that forms their various opinions, or the biases that they grew up with and cannot (or do not want to) get rid of? Do we all see the world through the blinders we have been wearing since childhood, and can we ever take them off?

Senator Barack Obama was on an MTV special with veterans from Operation Iraqi Freedom on March 20^th, and the moderator illuminated the issue of ego, however indirectly. He asked the veterans whether they felt that Obama would ever really understand what they went through in the war. Given that 7 out of the 8 had posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and one likened tall buildings and malls in the US to terrorist hiding places overseas, I don’t think anyone can quite comprehend what they have lived through. But they have survived to tell the tale, and those of us who have never experienced their pain and joys can only imagine what it’s like.

This topic begs the age-old question: does size matter? For egos, I think it does. A balance is necessary: a big ego puts you in danger of falling down the depths of ignorance, but a small or non-existent one leaves open the possibility of reaching for, and therefore accomplishing, less than you can.